2004, February 22, a 3.5 kgs child was born. I was born.
I was born and brought up healthy and I looked little chubbier and bulkier than other children of my age. Having chubbiest cheeks of all, I was most of the people’s favoritechild as they used to enjoy playing pulling my cheeks out.
My size and plumpness were okay till I was 10 or 11 years old but as I grew up, I started getting insulted of my body weight. My weight and size were not digested by the fit people around me and I became unacceptable as a normal human being but was considered to be an abnormal fat girl.
I was never called by my actual name but was always named all the large sized animals found. Initially it was okay but as slowly and gradually it started becoming intentional, intention of pulling me down and insulting me.
Nothing and nobody affected me like that till then. Three years back when I was in grade 9 and thirteen years old, as always carefree and childish in nature, I was in a program in my school. A life changing scenario was created there. My life got changed completely.
In the program, everybody was enjoying, shouting, dancing, taking selfies, singing and all and there was one time when phone was in my hand and I was supposed to take pictures on group of 4. Suddenly when I was supposed to fit all those people in the camera frame, someone from the back said, “Your size does not fit the camera lens”. That particular sentence from that person hit my heart and brain so bad that I couldn’t stop throwing my phone and I began to cry. I cried for a while, a friend consoled and I slowly began to get involved in the program. Though I showed I was okay to everyone, deep inside my heart I was broken.
After program going back home, I again cried remembering the sentence and imagining my status in peoples mind. After that day onwards I began to interact less with the people with whom I used to enjoy talking to. I started having less diet than usual but nothing changed and me getting bullied remained constant. I couldn’t help myself on being fit like others were.
Days passed by; I began to lose weight but I became very weak mentally. The process of me losing weight made my both physical and mental health affected. There were people who asked me to stop thinking about my weight and think about my health but as one negative stroke is 100 times more powerful than a positive stroke, my health didn’t matter to me that time.
I lost weight, I started looking good but bully didn’t stop. But then I realized, people don’t bully or body shame (in my case) so that we change or become good version of ourselves but they enjoy pulling you down, hurt and affect person’s life who they think are not going to speak up for themselves.
I was quiet and didn’t take stand for myself, instead I began to become like the one they wanted me to become. And it affected me bad back then though I’m fine now.
So please everyone,
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life but create, define, live and enjoy the way you are.
Nobody is perfect in this world. The perfect body, the perfect face, the perfect hair, the perfect quality, the perfect everything are self-created and we shouldn’t run after peoply es mindset of perfection but need to prove us perfect the way we are.
As Taylor Swift said, “If they don’t like you from being you then be yourself even more.”
You are perfect, I’m perfect and everyone is perfect the way we are. There’s none whom we need to prove you’re perfect.
About the writer;
She’s a 16 years young and enthusiastic girl living in Lalitpur, Nepal who loves writing and expressing her heart out. An eleventh-grade student who has a lot yet to perceive is a very determined and carries big dreams in her life.